This is a comment I’ve heard from others many times since the ball dropped on January 1. It’s not untrue. I want to be new. I want to be free. I want to be better. And I can’t keep things in my life that aren’t helping that journey. The good news — there’s a lot to be excited about this year.
I will be intentional.
It’s a word I’ve seen ALL OVER lately, but I got set on this last fall in my final project management class. Go to work with intentionality. Greet your family with intentionality. Choose causes with intentionality. Set one foot in front of the other, intentionally choosing where YOU want to go.
I want to walk through life with more purpose, but not one given to me by someone else. I want to make intentions and follow through on them.
I will be defined.
This goes for my abs as well as my mind. My long-term 2020 fitness goal is to have defined abs — however that turns out. But this year I’ll be turning 35 and it’s going to be a big year for me mentally and emotionally. I don’t need to know who I’m always going to be, I just want to know me better now.
I will empower & let fly.
I have a tendency to keep doing for others even when they can do for themselves. At best, I just enable them never fully learning. At worst, I can end up getting really hurt along the way. So I’m not settling for less than I’m worth. I will empower others with knowledge, and when I know they’re capable, let them fly.
Sometimes that looks like pushing a coworker to embrace a new task. Sometimes it means setting boundaries to protect myself and my family. But when the knowledge is given or the request clearly made, it’s irresponsible to not act upon it. To know and not do is the same as not knowing.
That’s right — I’m a fitness coach! Does that mean I know all the workouts and do them flawlessly and never press pause? Hell no. But it does mean I commit to my health & journey and I want to help you on yours too.
If you don’t know me, let me introduce myself: I’m Amy and I’m a 34-year-old mom and wife in Portland, Oregon. My day job is at a nonprofit as a technology analyst and project manager. I get so much out of my growth in that organization, but work ≠ life, so I needed more progress at home to really feel fulfilled in my personal development.
I attend weekly therapy sessions and take medications to handle my generalized anxiety. It’s a daily battle and it doesn’t stop just because I got one treatment. Every day I wake up and decide to take care of myself. Back in January my wonderful friend (& coach!) told me about this fitness program that did wonders for her anxiety. What could it do for me?
I started BeachBody with Clean Week, then went on to 21 Day Fix. I completed 8 weeks of PiYo then did some hybrid months of yoga & Core de Force before I landed on my true love: Morning Meltdown 100. This is the program I’m doing right now, but to look back at that list I just wrote makes me feel SO accomplished. In less than a year, I went from “I’ll never work out” and torturing myself through anxiety attack mornings to getting up at 5am so I can move my body and prepare my mind & body for the day.
And that brings me here. With you. And you’re reading this thinking, “so this is what Amy has been doing with all these posts.” Yep. You caught me — and I’m going to continue. Because being honest with my journey and struggle can serve as an example for others. Whose coach am I?
If you follow my personal Facebook, you know I had a ton of fun with my friends this morning taking photos on the waterfront and working out together. You know we sweat it out and enjoyed the weather. What you may not see is that I almost didn’t go. Another anxiety attack this morning left me nauseous and having slept little the night before didn’t help. But, I knew that I was committed to spending more time with my friends and today’s event was the perfect opportunity to do so.
One of the friends I was with has been my friend for over a decade. We were sorority sisters, then roommates, and now both mothers. When I saw the benefit she was getting from her fitness journey, there was little I could argue with. She introduced me to a new friend who is also on an incredible journey, fostering children and building her own photography business. These women are also fitness coaches who share their real struggles in an effort to grow together. I’m so happy to have them in my life and purposely make time for them on a gorgeous Sunday morning.
Below are a few photos from Laurel at LB Photography, as well as a video of my Instagram story from today’s shenanigans.
I’m reading a YA book now that involves demons going through dimensions, and silver existing as a “grounding” device for a creature. If they have it, they can’t completely disintegrate. So it’s been on my mind lately as I go through what I’m hoping is just the rough “part” of my year. I don’t know what my silver is, but I know I desperately look for it every day. And today it was just doing something normal. I’m ready to play by my rules, I just need to pick myself up out of bed, put up my dukes, and put one foot in front of the other.
Years back a coworker shared with me his philosophy on how to handle the work day. At the beginning of the day, you have five “fucks” to give. Something comes across your plate, you decide if you give a fuck. Obviously the required items have to be taken care of, but when something requires you to go out of your way, you would then pay/give/use a “fuck” from your balance for the day. Once the five are gone however, there are no more to give. And you can go about your day knowing that you really did put in an effort, but you’re being realistic — you can’t do everything, and you can’t give all your energy to everyone. You’ll end up at the bottom of the pack.
So today, working out was my last “fuck” to give. I gave it my all at work, I really provided thoughtful project assistance to some great coworkers, I took care of errands after work, and I committed to working out with my husband even when I totally didn’t want to. And now — my balance is at zero. Good night!
A friend shared this sentiment with me so I wanted to share it with you all on this Sunday evening. Sometimes exercise is just a therapeutic way of taking care of yourself. It allows your body to move and get out the kinks while your mind processes its thoughts. Whether it’s yoga or an intense P90X routine, exercise can release endorphins that help improve your mood and bring mental clarity. Just roll the mat out and get started!