My (Not So) Fair(ly Priced) Wedding

Since I’ve been engaged, I’ve used my free time (read: multi-tasking time) to catch up on all of those bridal TV shows that I didn’t watch without a ring. Since Netflix has quite a selection to choose from, I’ve started watching shows like Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta, Bridezillas, and even the one season of Bridalplasty. Since I tired of Bridezillas, and am waiting for new episodes of Say Yes to the Dress, I needed a new show. Enter My Fair Wedding.

From WE TV.com’s about the show page:

“A bride knows what she wants for her wedding — the dress, the flowers, even the icing on the cake! But with only a few weeks before the big day, celebrity event planner David Tutera shows up and changes everything. How exactly will he tackle these brides’ outlandish ideas to give them a wedding beyond their imagination? David sits down with the bride, he learns her style, likes and dislikes before taking over everything, creating her fairytale wedding in a short period of time.”

And when you watch the show, you quickly fall for David, a great wedding planner, who is saving these poor ignorant brides from certain demise on their wedding day. Even some of the brides are just so kind and unassuming that you just want to give them a hug and say, “David’s here, he’ll fix it – it will all be okay.”

And then season 2 episode 1 happened.

Kristi “Kricket” Kszepka is beautiful, cares about everyone else, and puts herself last. Truly a giver. And David hits the nail on the head when he says that she needs to think of herself first sometimes. Gotta take care of #1! Then this comes out (from the episode recap, bold mine):

“…he finds that Kricket has collected all sorts of unique items to display on her wedding day that don’t really tie into her theme and most of it is fake – the flowers, the leaves and even the grapes… the four letter word David hates the most – “F-A-K-E!”

I get it. I recently had a conversation with a neighbor of mine who basically shuddered (over the phone, so I couldn’t really tell) when I said I would be making my bouquet, centerpieces, etc. and was thinking about using fake flowers. Yes, real is better than fake. However, real flowers are also much more expensive (anytime, but also in the fall when less is blooming naturally), require much more maintenance, and have to be handled much closer to the wedding date as opposed to weeks before. For some people, fake is the better way to go.

Enter my real problem with this whole “fake is a four letter word” comment: David is totally shaming a bride while she’s already doubting herself over having to do an expensive event on a minimal budget. Money may not be a huge issue to people, but to a lot of us (and especially in this economy) it can be very burdensome. And if you don’t want to go into debt to pay for one day of your life, you have to be frugal.

If you watch the show, notice how we never find out how much these things cost. I usually don’t hear prices, if ever, and I certainly don’t see any final cost at the end. This show is a fairy tale! David literally comes in and swoops these “damsels in distress” off their feet. All while glossing over their budget woes and decisions made because of them.

Final lesson: don’t let the television determine your outlook on weddings. Balance it with real, thoughtful, hard advice from sources who aren’t trying to artificially inflate the cost of weddings. I have no stake in this game, folks. Except for, of course, the stake of helping other brides like myself who are trying to desperately keep costs in the low-four-figures. It’s so easy to get caught up in it all and not think about the dollar signs. But it’s also very possible to keep your head above water and enjoy a beautiful and memorable start to your married life. So join me!